So, even people who love what they do have issues with their work. He truly loves what he does, but does feel the pressure on the edges about money and time for his friends and family. But I have another friend, for example, who has worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 20 years, who is so passionate about his ability to have an impact on an issue in an area that has meaning to him, and he is able to write persuasively about the issue, and present on it, and change people’s minds. They don’t skip to work every morning to a desk surrounded by puppies, gazing adoringly up at them. Let’s consider people who truly love their jobs. It isn’t always an either or choice, but it does indeed sometimes come down to questions of risk and time to do what you think you would love to do and some people want the sure thing of taking care of their family. For example, I think about friends who have children, and their focus is often to have a job that helps them make the money they need to make, and that doesn't require that they take work home with them literally or emotionally. They said: “you know, for some people who want to take care of their family and live a certain kind of life, this job actually allows for that.”Ī lot of my life since then has been about recognizing that we’re all different. They responded rather nicely, considering that I’d callously put down their entire area of work. I was still in college and I asked them, essentially, why on earth they would want to do what my dad did. I remember meeting his colleagues, and one time, meeting someone a couple of years older than I was, who was starting out in the business. This is true for many creative people and expecting more of that relationship might be unfair. Something they perhaps even like on occasion. Many people have a passion outside of work and therefore their job always feels like a necessary evil, something they tolerate. Any other work feels like a chore to pay the bills to allow for painting. If he could get paid to paint exactly what he wanted when he wanted to, he would love it. They might be looking for a steady paycheck with no drama or emotional connection, so that they can focus on art projects at home, for example.Ī friend of mine is a painter. There are many people who may not ever love their job, and who might be very happy with that, because they’re not looking for love from their job. Do you want a job you love? Or one you like? Or one you can tolerate? But the most important thing to do is find a job that aligns with your priorities, and to be clear about what your priorities are. The truth is that people in America expect a lot from work including all too often most of their identity. Perhaps everything in this country just comes with an exclamation mark attached. However, Americans don’t settle for mushy peas, rather we aspire to things outside their natural state like blooming onions. They might look to find a job they like, or at the very least, one that doesn’t depress them. When I was chatting with an English friend about this piece, he said that people in his country tend to be “more realistic” about work. And you’re free to choose other priorities. My point is, however, that you don’t need to love your job. What will you do for work? What do you choose not to sacrifice? Data shows 70 percent of Americans are anxious or unhappy in their work, so if we’re striving for love, we’re falling far short. And the question of what you will sacrifice for a job is really about how emotionally invested you are in your career. Meatloaf wrote a song about doing anything for love, but not doing “that”. It could be the stuff of your work, but whether that needs to be the focus is a choice and often comes with trade-offs. Love is the stuff of pop songs and romance novels. I can’t stand that terminology or the expectations it propagates. There’s a common platitude that emerges when people talk about work in America, which is that you should “find a job you love.”
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